1.24.21 – They Found A Lump…

It was a really draining day for me emotionally. We had to make a big decision, that was very hard to make. The right decision was pretty clear to us, but I knew it would most likely hurt people close to us… So it was hard to make. Without going into detail, it had to do with deciding where to live next, job offers, etc.

I’ve also been feeling weighted down by an upcoming procedure I have scheduled. About two months ago I went into the doctor because of heartburn, which ultimately led to them finding a lump in my stomach. My doctors are really great, and are VERY confident it isn’t cancer, but waiting to get the procedure that will confirm that scheduled and done has been weighing on me. My husband, also a doctor, and my dad, also a doctor, have looked at my medical records and aren’t worried either… But for some reason none of that is stopping me from feeling impending doom. That 1% chance that I have stomach cancer is just always in the back of my mind.

Lately I’ve been trying to focus on the little moments when I feel weighed down by bigger things. Little moments like when we arrived to church this morning and Violet immediately yelled, this is NOT trick-or-treating!

Or when Zoey made the word, ‘HI’ out of play dough and put it on her forehead, while Zander insisted on wearing sunglasses inside the chapel.

Or when Zander told me he was DEAD *looooong pause* out of breath, because he was so hungry.

Zander also told me he thinks he is older than me, or at least growing older than me, because he keeps beating me at foosball.

Wow! I already feel lighter reliving those moments.

Another moment I loved today was bringing the kids to the frozen lake. Something as simple as throwing rocks onto ice makes them SOOOO happy. Kids are a constant reminder that it is the little things that matter most, and that perspective is everything.